Pocatello!

Hello beautiful family of mine! Okay so this week has been a whirlwind of emotions. Last Monday night... so I had been feeling really anxious and worried and scared because it was my last night in the MTC and Brother Macahilahila is so inspired. He started to give us a lesson and then said, "Sisters, follow me." We left the classroom and went to a different building where there are pictures of Christ all over the walls of the hallway. "Go and find your favorite painting and then come back." We each walked around, silently and separately. There was a painting of Him I had never seen before. He was walking to the cross, with thorns on his head and blood on His back from being whipped, a crowd following around Him, and He was looking over at someone that was cold and huddled around a fire. It just struck me. Here is this man, The Son of God - the only perfect person to ever walk on the Earth, and He is being directed to the area where He would be tragically killed and yet He isn't even looking down at His pained feet or weeping for Himself. Instead, He is turned outward, looking at another child of God, with longing and a desire so firm to just help this other struggler. In one of His darkest moments He is looking to comfort another. It just really caused my heart to ache for His selflessness and beauty. I am in awe. We then spoke to one another in the class about what we thought and believed and what struck us. I could barely hold it together. The tears just kept flowing. I love my Savior. Those words don't even describe the feelings of appreciation and inexpressible love I have for Him. I can't find the words. Earlier in the day we had all been doing role plays for investigators and missionaries and something a friend of mine said struck me. She said, "I see something in you. When you speak to people you just connect with them. I can see all you could be... but you're holding yourself back. There's so much you can become. Don't deprive yourself of that. Let go and let Him in. No fear." So that's been one of my goals this week. Then Monday night my district and I raided the vending machines, bought all the food we could, went back to our room and ate while we packed, just laughing and talking. God knows who we need in our life. He will put them there. Love them. You can find heavenly angels everywhere in the most interesting and unexpected friendships. Tuesday was like "WHAT?" So surprised. Last day at the MTC. We woke up early, finished packing, and went to breakfast. It was our last zone breakfast and of course I got sappy. I have grown to love these elders and sisters as if they're my own. Ah. I got to see Elder Tanner Hillier again! He's the bomb - he looked so happy and uplifted! (The MTC does that to ya;) I love seeing friends from home. Then my district and two elders from my zone, Elder Burtoch and Elder Skidmore, got on the bus to Pocatello Idaho. It was so nice being with them for a bit longer. Once we arrived to the mission house I was almost passing out. It became so real. "I'm here. It's happening." I kept thinking! Ah our mission presidents are Brother and Sister Brinkerhoff and they are fantastic! You can feel the love they have for you just pouring out of their eyes. I love them. Then I got your package mom!!! THANK YOU. Getting packages and letters from home mean the world to me. That night I found out where I'd be serving - Pocatello Central III. We're over the Valleyview and Freemont Heights wards. Short story - so December. I googled "Pocatello Idaho sister missionaries" and I found a blog from a super cute sister named Sister Jacobson. I then sent her a Dearelder.com letter asking about the mission and what to expect. Then two days before I headed into the MTC, January 27th, I got a letter in the mail from her! She talked about how wonderful the mission was and just sent the most loving and comforting letter. Guess who my companion is. Sister Jacobson! So rad! Heavenly Father is so inspired and so incredible. She's my first companion here out on the mission! So wonderful! Tuesday night though.... that was rough. My MTC companion, Sister Worrall, and I spent the night at a members house and it became very real. I felt pretty anxious. New changes can be frightening... but anything worth doing is going to bring you out of your comfort zone. If it didn't, how else would we grow? I kept praying for comfort. I invite you to do the same - pray with your entire being, let Christ in. Let Him calm the storm inside of you. Don't lose hope. You're already walking on water right now in this moment - don't lose faith now. Don't sink. He is beside you. Focus on Him. Wednesday I met my new companion Sister Jacobson. I walked out of the car, anxiously looking around at all of the new missionaries, and all of a sudden I see this whirl of brown curly hair and a grinning face screaming, "Sister Mork!" She is so sweet. She's made me feel welcome and loved from the start. We hugged and just started talking right away. She's definitely a tender mercy to me. Saying goodbye to my MTC district was bittersweet, but we're all serving in Pocatello so I'm sure I'll see them again:) Right after that we headed to our new apartment. Please keep sending letters! I love them so much. They mean the world to me - especially encouraging words and inspirational scriptures and quotes. They move me along when it gets hard. So then once we got to our apartment we began studying and then went out! We walk a lot. We don't have a car so we walk around and talk with people about the gospel. Wednesday we were walking in the rain and just talking to everyone we saw about the Book of Mormon. To be honest, at first I was so nervous and anxious. It was pouring rain. I was so cold. People would shut doors in our faces when we tried to explain we were missionaries for Christ's restored church and it broke my heart. I first thought they were rejecting me, but then I realized they were rejecting Christ and that broke my heart even more. However, there are few times I have felt as inspired and lifted as I did that cold, wet day. I felt Him walking alongside me the entire time. I know He was. Thursday we had zone training. It was awesome. My new zone is rad. Me and my companion, Sister Jacobson, are the only sister missionaries in our entire area. There's like 5 sets of Elders in our zone and then her and I. I was so inspired in that meeting. Read Matt 4:20, 22 - Leave everything behind and serve. You will perform miracles. God will perform miracles through you if you believe in Him. 3 N 18:12,13 is wonderful too. If we make Christ our foundation, nothing can make us fall. We give up what we used to love for who we love more. While we were in the meeting I just had this sense of AH. I raised my hand and just expressed how important this work is. I spoke so boldly about the worth of souls and how we must show them Christ. We must show them the way. They need this. Our brothers and sisters need this. After I shared my thought one of the elders shared a beautiful story and tears came to all of our eyes. Our faith can inspire the faith in others and cause them to speak up and share beautiful memories. If your fire to share the gospel isn't burning in your heart, rekindle it. Pray to be an answer to someone's prayer. Pray to be a vessel. Friday was emotional. So that day we had training and I saw everyone from my MTC zone! LOVE THEM. Then that night.... I got such anxiety and homesickness. I'm going to be honest. That was such a hard night. I have had some of the brightest moments on my mission but some of the darkest..already. I can feel the adversary trying to make me doubt myself and feel unsure about why I'm here or if I'm capable. I miss home. I miss you all. And that night it just hit me. My heart ached to be home in your arms and just comforted. I knelt on the floor in my new apartment and just cried and expressed everything I was feeling in my heart and soul. Such peace couldn't have come any other way. The hardest times come before the greatest miracles - I kept telling myself. After I got up me and my companion got back to studying and then I just started tearing up again. I told her all my feelings and we had such a warming heart to heart. Ah, I love this sister of mine. We hugged and she offered such inspiration and wisdom. I know I'm supposed to be here. I know I can be a vessel in the Lord's hands. I know God can work miracles through me and I know I can bring souls unto Him. And because of that knowledge I know that Satan will try to cause me to doubt myself and doubt my purpose, but I can testify as a representative of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that if we put our trust in Him, then we can withstand any turmoil that Satan will send our way. After the crying fiasco, Sister Jacobson asked me if I wanted to ask for a priesthood blessing or just keep talking or whatever and I said, "Let's go out and find someone to teach." It was 8 pm by then and we went out and I'm so glad we did! We stopped at an apartment and talked with this adorable young mother who wasn't a member but said she planned on getting baptized. I shared a scripture and expressed that the Lord can help us climb any mountain we leads us to. SATURDAY ELDER DAVID A. BEDNAR CAME TO OUR MISSION. I saw him! I was in the same room as him. He gave a devotional and it was so beautiful. They say things like this never happen and it's probably the last time it will for a while. He said everything I needed to hear. Ah to be in the same room as an apostle of the Lord. I can't describe the light I saw and felt as he spoke. Read D&C 84:87-88. God is always with us. "There is strengthening grace from the Atonement that helps us do more than we could alone when we strive to do what's right." I needed that so badly. I can love because He loved me first. Turn to God and feel his support. I was praying to feel comfort before the devotional and I kept feeling these words in my heart, "I am with you. Be troubled no more. Fear not." As we sang with Elder Bednar I felt nana Karen with me. I always do lately. I wear her ring everyday, mom. She is my guardian angel. Later that day we were walking and there was a woman outside her house smoking a cigarette. Sister Jacobson and I walked up to her and started talking to her. After Sister Jacobson paused for a moment I asked if I could share one of my favorite scriptures - D&C 121:7-9. After reading, I bore testimony to her that God is aware of her and that He loves her. I expressed that Jesus is the Christ, her older brother, and that he died for her. Tears came to her eyes and she cried as I told this woman I barely know but already loved of Christ's atoning sacrifice for her. The Spirit was so strong. Then that night I had one of the most incredible moments of my life. We were in Stake High Counselor of Missionary Work's home. He had asked us to come and teach his coworker. She is such a beautiful soul - an older woman with such kind eyes and loving smiles. We taught her about the Restoration and how this is the true church and after the lesson I felt impressed to invite her to be baptized. I bore my soul to her and told her that God is aware of her and knows her circumstances and then continued to ask, "So will you follow the example of your Savior, Jesus Christ, and be baptized in His name?" And she said yes! By the end of that we were all crying. I love this gospel. And Sunday I went to both wards and gave a talk in one of them.. for twenty minutes! Sheesh. I was unsure of what I was going to say, but the spirit guided me in everything I was meant to testify to the ward. The stake high counselor of missionary work spoke up in the ward council and said, "I will never forget what you said, Sister Mork. There was such a spirit when you spoke and bore testimony and I will never forget that moment. It's engraved." I love this gospel. I know the church is true. I know that God is aware of each and every one of us. He loves us with an unconditional love. Christ is our strength. He is home. He is peace. Read the Book of Mormon. It's written for you. Pray. God loves you and wants to hear from you and give you blessings on high. Write me. I miss you all. I love you and pray for you every night. I know angels are watching over you. All my love and more, Sister Mork